When the book, “Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships” by Robert Firestone, Lisa Firestone, and Joyce Catlett was offered to Mind and Media reviewers, I volunteered to check it out thinking that it would present me with some Christ-based advice on improving intimacy in my marriage. The publisher sent the book to me at no cost to review as part of the Mind and Media program.
I read through quite a bit of the book and discovered that it was definitely not based upon the Word of God with statements such as, “When one’s partner is not free to pursue other relationships, one never knows for certain if one has really been chosen or is really preferred” and “We contend that beliefs that postulate a soul and an afterlife to counter death anxiety and assure salvation involve a trade-off that requires turning against the body and the core of a person’s sexuality.” Since I thought the book was going to offer Godly advice, it was offered through a Christian review program, I was disappointed in the worldly beliefs and statements made in the book. I then put the book down for a couple weeks and read another book in my review queue.
After finishing the other book, I decided to come back to Sex and Love to see if there was any helpful information in the book with the understanding that the Word of God was not going to be in the reference section.
I do believe that most of the sexual problems we have in marriages are due to the “internal voices” the authors discuss rather than physical attraction and techniques proposed in other books. I know I personally question myself and my own worth and this impacts how intimate I am with my wife so I know that others are having some of the same thoughts. I am not a psychologist and am not sure if I buy into the belief that a lot of these internal voices or self-attacks are the result of our developmental years, but I do think that the way our society treats sex and the human body has a lot to do with insecurities and other thoughts we have.
The book was quite detailed and I did not find it that difficult to get through, but I did have to make an effort to follow some of the more specific details and terms that I was unfamiliar with. There is some very good content in the book and I will try to pull out some of the discussion techniques and use them with my wife to help keep our marriage fresh and open.
If the book was not sent to me to review, I would never personally purchase it. As a Christian man, I am devoted fully to my lovely wife and believe that having Jesus at the center of our lives and giving sacrificially to each other while reading, praying, sharing, and loving is what will make our marriage last and our intimate relationship develop over the years.